Divorce and Remarriage in Families

If there's one thing that I have learned this semester it is that FAMILY SYSTEMS ARE COMPLEX. 

Blended, remarried, divorced, step, and reconstituted families were the topic of discussion this week. What are the challenges that come with these familial situations? Can these challenges be overcome? 

In some situations, divorce is absolutely necessary. However, there are still challenges that come with a decision like this. Most divorces occur between years two and five of marriage. What is also happening in these years? You got it! Children. Children can be a huge strain on a marriage if the couple has not properly prepared for such a  drastic change. What can happen sometimes, is that children will feel guilt in a divorce situation. They are likely to feel as if the divorce is their fault and that they are not good enough. These feelings can last into adulthood. It is important to make a child feel that they are still loved when they are going through something like this. 

After a divorce, often times parents will remarry. Relationships are funny things, especially within families. And even more so in a family situation where two families have made the decision to blend together. Children are going to have twice the amount of relationships and maybe some confusion as to where their loyalty belongs within those relationships. The family system that they were used to is now all jumbled and new people have been added into the mix. How much of a relationship should they form with their step parents? What role should the step parents have in their lives? Are both biological parents actively involved in their lives? Have they formed stronger relationships with grandparents and other extended family members throughout the process? Are they adjusting well to having new siblings? There are so many confusing questions that come with these situations. 

Are these challenges insurmountable? No. They can be overcome through proper communication and work. Relationships are not simple things. They require time, commitment, and so much compromise. No family is perfect. They all require work. Blended families may require a little more work, but there is still value in them. There is value in ALL families.